April 19, 2017

The Curious Case of the Non-blogging Blogger

Hi. Hey. Howdy.

Luke here. If you're reading this, you probably either know me or have read one of my books. If, on the other hand, you're one of the three people who read the first two blog posts on this site and kept eagerly coming back for more . . . Oh boy, are you probably pissed.

Yes, it's been a while. Nigh three or for months, I do believe (and could easily confirm if I was wont to do such things at the moment). I had intentions, nay, dreams—nay, delusions—to keep this blog updated and full of fresh, interesting posts, bursting with usefulness and sunshine and all manner of lovely things. But you know what? Life's hard, man.

Things slip through the cracks. Sue me. Please don't.

So why am I writing this now? Well, I did want to work my way back to making at least semi-regular updates (and possibly even more thoughtful, purposeful posts here and there). But also, my Amazon Affiliates account just got nixed for, in their words:

– Lack of content which is original to your site and beneficial to your visitors
– Pages that are mainly empty when advertisement content is removed

Bottom line? I do believe it's a sign from on high. Praise be to the Amazon Gods!

See, I was distraught when I saw that email. Mainly because I need those affiliate links to track how effectively my various marketing efforts are converting curious onlookers into actual readers. The little bump of compensation wasn't hurting either. (This is the part where I make a disclaimer: if a link on this site takes you to a product on Amazon, it's probably going to be an affiliate link, which basically means nothing on your end (same price, etc.), but if you decide to make a purchase, I get a small (<8%) referral fee. I know, I'm a devious bastard. But I'll never use them for evil, and, honestly, the conversion tracking is what I'm most interested in.)

Jesus, Luke, you might be saying. I don't know about all that affiliate who's-a-what's-it, but who taught you how to use parentheses? Multiple sentences? And nesting them? Who do you think you are?

I blame the MATLAB. And other various languages, of course. Programming. Not even once.

Anyway! The point I'm so haphazardly approaching is that I do believe the Amazon Gods have commanded me thusly:

“Go forth, ye shall, and blog this day. Blog, and let thine three engaged readers, one of whom must most certainly be thine own mother, hear the words of Luke, he of much cave dwelling and many blank stares. Go thusly, or we shall smite thee again and cast thee from the good kingdom, which may be known by the name, Amazon (Affiliates).”

Yeah. Well.

Jokes on them. I wanted to do it anyway.

So yes, I'll be back in less than three or four months to type more words at you. They might even have a point or a message of substance riding somewhere within their angles and curves. Or maybe I'll just put black on white and fall to my knees, praying to the Amazon Gods that I may not receive that second smiting.

I don't know. My track record's clearly not that great. I probably wouldn't trust me . . . but will you?

Will I change? Can I become the blogger I once promised to be?

Find out next . . . sometime.

Talk soon?


Let me tell you a story. For free.

Read this free novella. It's free. And a novella. And possibly awesome.

But I'll let you be the judge of that last part…




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